Message from Andrew, a father of loss

A Father’s Agony

Being a father is THE greatest job ever.  I knew there would be ups and there would be downs, but I never fathomed anything to degree I have had to go through.  There is no class to take, advice from anybody, or a book or blog I could’ve read to prepare myself for the day Max was born.  Like my other boys, Max was first held by his daddy.  Max was able to be in my arms and feel the protection I was able to give, to feel the love I have been waiting to provide, to see that my world revolved around my family!  On the day Max was born, I have never felt so helpless.  Being a father means that you will put your family first.  You will ensure the safety and security before your own.  You will do anything to take care of the family so they can have the perfect life.  I strive to make the lives of my family better than my own.  For once in my life, I was not able to make things better.  I was not equipped to rid the evil.  

Not only is being a father the greatest job, it is the most important job I have had and will ever have.  Being a father of boys means that I get to teach them how to be a man, how to play sports, how to treat a lady, how to show respect, understanding the value in hard work and show that it pays off, and how to show emotions…I didn’t get to do that with Max….and as a father…I have felt like I was cheated out of such an important part of my life.  Maxwell Gregory is my son…and although I won’t get to teach him life skills here on earth…I have found that he is teaching me.  He is teaching me patience, love, gratefulness, and the importance of having faith.  I look forward to the day that I get to hold my boy again so I can show him love, patience, gratefulness…and how to throw a ball!  I love you Max…you are always on daddy’s mind and in daddy’s heart!